I recently deleted 26 months of my blog. I wanted to give a reason for it. I don't have many readers so it's very possible no one noticed. I went back and read most of it, and just couldn't stand to remember the pain of those days. Having it written in black and white brings it back so very clear. I started this blog in Feb of 08...a much different person than I am today. I had just lost my friend, Marilyn, of more than 40 years...but thought I was dealing with it pretty well. Now, looking back....maybe not.
I wanted to write a blog of my growing up years, when times were simple. To remember the good and bad times, times that made me the woman that I am today. Times that were not all ways happy, but they too made me the person I am now.
In April of 08 my baby sister was diagnosed with inoperable cancer. As I read back on the months following that horrible day we were told the news it bought it all back. Not that I don't remember every single, sad day. The days spend watching her die....eight long, but to short months, has changed something inside me. I am not the same carefree person I was then. I try and tell myself to deal with it, after all, it's been a year and a half now since she died, but those are only words...not real feelings.
I may or may not write here anymore. I don't know at this point. I still visit my favorite blogs every few days. I will still be around. Thank you to the ones that all ways had a comment for me during those dark days. It did help.
Loretta
5 comments:
Hello Loretta
I've missed reading your posts however frequently they were but there comes a time when we know what is the best thing to do. For ourselves and also for others.
Overcoming grief is a hard task maybe the blog could once again be your sounding board. Think about it - not writing amy more - then come back and let us know your decision. Or leave the blog open as you have done and just write now and again as the mood dictates
Take care
Cathy
Still Waters formerly Cathys Capers
I rarely even come on blogger anymore. Glad I checked out my updates now. I remember when you wrote about Darlene. I know it must have been so painful and sad for you. It is always painful to lose a loved one, Loretta. Things in life change us, don't they? I'm glad you wrote about your feelings now. Maybe deleting some of those posts has helped you. I hope so. But you know that Darlene will always be in your heart. Take care!
Hugs and prayers,
Renie
I will surely miss you.
Loretta please keep posting, I love to read into other peoples lives and hearts. Maybe I am nosey. I remember all the pain you went through but going through that and letting your friends know, opened an avenue of prayer. I thought of you and Darlene often, I thought of your familys job losses, the truck breaking down, Although I did not stop and kneel down I whispered a prayer.
I also post down things, but I look back and see how far God has brought me. So many wonderful blessings to count the trials seem trivial.
I know what you are going thru in a way… none of us grieve in the same way, however. I lost my sister in 2004 to cancer. She buried her son (age 27) 7 months earlier – brain tumor. Luanne was 48 years old.
I use my blog sometimes as a therapeutic tool to make me focus on the beauty and joy still out there. It works pretty well. Make a conscious effort to find something everyday that is beautiful and post a picture of it – like your little granddaughter. It sure brought a smile to me this morning. I would not have had that smile if you hadn’t posted her picture and little story. So, thank you!
Don’t give up… let it work FOR you…
Post a Comment